Thursday, December 13, 2012

Stay Classy, Cracked...

« Reply #14 on: Today at 09:15 AM »

Dunno if it's ban worthy, but this guy is OnoSendai, the guy who's running that blog that he thinks is actually hurting Cracked. He's on John's article today advertising his site.

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« Reply #15 on: Today at 10:11 AM »

Dear god, that blog is atrocious.

Just because John doesn't like commentors?

Seriously, did he touch him in his no-no area or something like that?
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« Reply #16 on: Today at 10:11 AM »

In case you need evidence for that guy other than the fact that he was dumb enough to use the same profile picture:

On the youtube quickfix:

On the gag gift article:

On Sarge's highschool article:

On Cheese's article:

Cheese's article again, this time responding to another commenter who said he was glad to see Cheese back:

Here's his crappy "Cracked parody" blog to confirm that it's called Crocked and he's not just having bizarrely specific typo problems.

There were also several posts on his "We're so big and important and Cracked will fall to our might" blog bragging about how he's using a TOR browser to get around the IP ban and encouraging others to do likewise, but I've no desire to give the asshole more traffic by digging them out again, and they don't specifically mention this account.

If you can read this, you have to call the police. We were at a meeting with Wong and he won't let us leave. He's keeping us in a cage made of his toenail clippings and only lets us out to mod the workshop. Most of the others are already dead. Tell them to bring armed backup, he has a shitload of military grade weaponry under his desk. Oh god he's coming ba
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« Reply #17 on: Today at 10:30 AM »

This is where it's helpful to have one button that deletes all of a user's comments in one shot.

That guy is either 13 or somewhat mentally unstable (he's posted elsewhere that he's going to contact Anonymous to come after us, and that he has personally contacted the shareholders of Demand over the fact that he wasn't allowed to keep screaming insults in our comment section). I guess it's not his fault in either case...

I am Cracked Senior Editor David Wong, I just wrote a book about giant parasites that take over your brainHere I am on Facebook.

(The Cracked forum thread discussing me, right before they banned/deleted my account and comments).


  1. 1. They actually think you used the same profile picture because you were too dumb to realise it would give you away O.o ?

    2. They STILL don't understand that not liking your commentors is a BAD thing for a columnist??

    What the Hell is wrong with these people!?

    Oh, and I just love how Wong is being all magnanimous all of a sudden. We're not cockroaches any more? We're just mentally unstable or something? How generous of him!

  2. I like the 'David Wong's post just above that one:

    "By the way, something like half of the commenters I've banned have been workshop members who either never submitted a pitch or submitted one and it didn't go anywhere. There is nobody more bitter about other people's creativity than failed creators."

    I don't know who this guy thinks he is. He may realize that, despite creative entertainment content being important, there are other fields where creativity produces way more important results, where many of us work.

    1. Indeed.

      Not to mention all the people like me who get to exercise their creativity just fine in their hobbies. Just because I don't make money from my creations doesn't mean I don't feel satisfyingly accomplished as a creator all the same.

  3. I got banned for the fourth time, alluding at shit-proof walls on darkstrolm's pun thread on that sad man Cheese's article. To be honest with you, it's not worth it, I see problems with this that run much deeper into what have we become, as a society.

    Foolish of me to think that an inconsequential comment section on a "comedy" website would be the place to leave such pettiness and ugliness behind, but that's not the case.

    They are now going after the easy to please crowd, no edgy or creative stuff, a sweatshop of underpaid wannabe writers churning out paint-by-numbers lists, with more original writers (eg. Seanbaby) sidelined, and sure as hell they won't get my custom for the quality of their articles nowadays.

    What kept me coming back was the possibility to express myself and find a community/audience for this, whether I was trying to be tongue-in-cheek, funny or insightful and bounce some jokes off with likeminded commenters.

    But hey, you know what, fuck it, these guys really took the fun out of Cracked for me. Screw these pathetic excuses for human beings, I see too many of them in my daily life, and it's not worth for me to bother reading their bullshit and associate/argue in any way with them. Lowlifes.

    1. I feel exactly the same and agree with everyone here. (That forum thread is to report "abusive comments", i.e., insulting the writer of an article. Wong states it at the beginning, just goes to show that they can't even follow their own rules.

      I could make another account, but I've found I can ghost the forum just fine not having one. Such sad little fuckers they are, this didn't have to happen at all.

      Wave to the sad little fuckers, everyone.

    2. Very well said. Unfortunately :/

      I haven't bothered to make a new account since my 4th one was banned. What for, really? So that I can go and praise every article and every author like a good little obedient cockroach? No thanks, I'll pass. The whole POINT of Cracked was that it was irreverent and it didn't pander to that "proper behaviour" bullshit. Except that now it does. Well then, what's the point any more? The articles have honestly become more and more boring to me for several months already, and if I can't even look forward to the hilarious insanity in the comments section, then why bother? It's not like there's a whole internet out there with more stuff to read and enjoy than I'll ever have time for, right?

    3. Exactly. Also, Eternauta raised an interesting question, why all of a sudden are they bringing in new talent? They've always advertised for new blood. Why is it happening now?

    4. I can see several reasons:

      1. The snowball effect: as readers see that anonymous people do get their articles posted, it prompts them to try for it too.

      2. The Quick Fixes: not everybody feels up to writing a full, two-pages article, but a Quick Fix looks much more doable.

      3. The lowering in Funny Quality: quite frankly, there have been too many articles lately which could have been posted anywhere else except for the few jokes forced more or less awkwardly into each section to keep the pretense that Cracked is about jokes.

      Problem is: Cracked is trying to have its cake and eat it too. They publish more and more "informative" articles, but when someone points out that a fact in an article is wrong, the answer is always "Comedy site!" End result: they post more and more articles which are neither accurate nor terribly funny. I'm not sure that's a good idea, but hey, I'm not as smart as Wong, right?

    5. If a commenter is making personal insults or attacks toward any writers or editors on the site, please notify us here. Give us a link to their profile and direct us to the article were they are doing it.

      Obviously discussion/criticism of the article content itself is fine. The moment it crosses into petty personal insults aimed toward the writer, they've crossed into ban territory. The writers/editors/performers don't deserve the abuse, and the commenters have done nothing to earn the right to say it. If they can't be civil, fuck 'em.

      A little clarification.

    6. OrangeEyebrows
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      Re: Report Abusive Commenters Here
      « Reply #19 on: Today at 01:59 PM »
      Quote from: David Wong on December 09, 2012, 10:08 PM
      By the way, something like half of the commenters I've banned have been workshop members who either never submitted a pitch or submitted one and it didn't go anywhere. There is nobody more bitter about other people's creativity than failed creators.

      I was staring wide-eyed at that blog and thinking, "Jesus, why is he so angry?"

      Quote from: Guy with weird grudge against John Cheese
      Writers are encouraged, nay, forced at gunpoint, to write for us on any subject YOU choose.

      That's why.

      Check out this fool. Not only does he not "get" humor, when I quoted Pargin's OWN WORDS, he thought they were mine! Christ...No wonder that hellhole is spiraling downwards.

    7. He's saying "why is he so angry?" when he's talking about his OWN EDITOR! Priceless.

    8. Hahaha, funnier than 5 cracked articles! That goes to show they just lick their ass without even reading what they say.

    9. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Every comedian is dependent on his audience, sure, you can get to stage where you say "fuck it, my audience is big enough, I can afford to lose part of it and still be ok", but you are asking for trouble doign that

    1. A lot of people are starting to notice that.

      That's why we're here, to show their true behavior. (Actually, they are showing that themselves).

  5. I marked dentistelbow's first comment as "spam" as a way to block any further abuse from him coming here. I didn't realize that it would delete the entire comment thread that was generated by it. My apologies.